So let's get a little personal. Most of my posts so far have been about parenting and about research but I haven't really talked about how those affect me. So over the next few weeks I am going to discuss the 7 Baby B's which Dr Sears talks about in relation to Attachment Parenting (which I call AP) and how they apply to my family.
So the first Baby B is...Birth Bonding
"A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together." (Dr Sears)
Bonding with baby right away is very important. But, as Dr Sears points out, while there is a "sensitive period" for post-birth bonding, it is not a "now-or-never" kind of thing. When a mom and baby are separated for any period of time right after birth, they can do some "catch-up bonding."
So normally when a baby is born, he is placed on his mother's chest right away. I had a C-section (it was not the plan, BUT my son's head is enormous, so...). I am actually not sure how long it was before I got to meet my son (after 27 hours of active labor--and 39 since my water broke--time wasn't really a concept I had a grasp on). He was cleaned up and swaddled when Husband brought him to me. It could not have been long because, according to Husband, I was not even done being stitched up yet. Husband put him on my chest and the anesthesiologist helped me wrap my arms around him. What an incredible moment (but I won't talk about that...it would be an entire blog post on its own). The time between when I first met him and when he was brought back to me in the recovery room is very blurry. When Husband brought him in, the nurse asked me if I wanted to breastfeed him or if I wanted to sleep and nurse later. Because I had done some reading about birth bonding, I told her I wanted to nurse. Since I was still numb, and also full of Morphine, she latched him on for me. I was able to hold him (my arms weren't numb). This all had to have been within an hour of his birth. I distinctly remember the feelings I had when I looked into his eyes the first time and when I looked at his face the first time we nursed. I definitely felt a sense of brand new connection, and I truly believe that our bonding started there.
Over the next 3 days, while in the hospital, Husband and I both engaged in almost constant skin-to-skin contact with our beautiful boy. Basically the only time I wore a bra/shirt was when we had visitors. The nurses and lactation consultants all were very encouraging of skin-to-skin. He also roomed-in with us, so he was never away from me. He sometimes slept in the little plastic bassinet next to my bed, but he hated it, so he was held most of the time. I could see my son bonding with me by his behavior. The day after he was born, a nurse came in to draw blood from his foot, and as soon as I began talking he stopped crying. He was soothed by my touch several times while having some procedure done by the nurses. Skin-to-skin on my chest also encouraged breastfeeding, which contributes to bonding as well.
We continued skin-to-skin contact and lots of holding my son in the days and months that followed our arrival home. We started baby-wearing as soon as my son would go in the carrier without screaming. He slept on our chests every day for months (this still happens occasionally at 9 months old, and only decreased when we instituted a nap-time routine/schedule at 7 months).
My son and I have an incredible bond. Our story is just one example of how "catch-up bonding" can occur after a C-section birth
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