How college prepared me for motherhood...

I've joked about this a lot, but I really am serious when I say it! College is not simply a place where you go to learn subject material from professors...it is where you go to learn about the "real world." So I have decided to compile a list of 8 ways that college and grad school prepared me for my role as "Mommy"



8. How to balance my needs with another person's needs

So, when you live with your parents, your needs are put ahead of everyone else's...because, well, that's what parents do. College was the first time I ever lived with someone other than my family. While it obviously is not the same as being completely responsible for actually MEETING someone else's needs, it taught me how to see from someone else's perspective and respect that they had different needs than mine. It taught me how to occasionally set aside my own agenda to allow for another's. One perfect example is being quiet while getting ready in the morning because someone else is still sleeping. Before living with roommates, I would not have worried about waking someone up, because I always came first at home...



7. Responsibility

Sure, in high school you have homework, but college is the first time you really have RESPONSIBILITIES that you have to handle on your own. You have homework, research papers, finals to study for with no one around to tell you to do it. Once you move off campus, you have utility bills to pay. Even if you are paying them with Mom and Dad's money, you still have to send the checks in on time! It is also the first time that your responsibilities affect another human being. If you don't write your portion of the rent check on time, then your roommate's rent is late....



6. How to balance work, social life, and an extra responsibility

As a mom, when you get home from work, you still have a baby to take care of. As a student, when you get home from work, you still have a research paper to take care of. And when are you going to work that shopping trip to buy clothes for the upcoming 80's mixer into your schedule? About the same time you are going to work in that brunch with your other mommy friends... That Chili's dinner will have to wait until after the mandatory sorority meeting, just as that girls' lunch date will have to wait until after nap time...

5. How to handle stress and overwhelm

I cannot tell you how much anxiety I experienced during school, especially during grad school! There were many days when the worry about how and when I was going to get something for school done was all I could think about. I had to learn how to cope with the stress well enough to do my job and other daily activities adequately. While I don't feel anywhere NEAR as stressed as a mom as I did as a student, there have been stressors present ever since I got pregnant. Worrying about miscarrying or the baby not being healthy, stressing about labor and delivery, worrying about SIDS, and now thinking about something happening to him while I am in the next room or at work....you get it. Because I dealt with so much stress in grad school, coping with this worrying is a piece of cake! As my son gets older and has a hectic schedule of school, sports, etc, and I wonder how I will fit it all in, I am sure this skill will come in handy :)

4. How to reach out for support

So I have yet to perfect this one....BUT I did learn in college who to turn to for emotional support, who to go to for advice (as well as who NOT to turn to...). 

3. Caffeine is my friend 

That statement speaks for itself

2. Two words...DRUNK ROOMMATES

Never in your life will you be free to go to parties and learn about alcohol as you are in college. And the same goes for your roommates! Drunk roommates are kind of like babies...

• You have to help them walk, and avoid dangerous things like sharp corners and hot stoves (and cops...)
• You may need to put them in their PJs and put them to bed
• Sometimes you have to clean throw up off your shoes, clothes, hair...
• When they cry, you soothe them
• You speak to them using words they will understand and explain what is going on
• You have to feed them food and water
• Sometimes you have to give them a "time-out" when they act inappropriate

You get the gist...

And the number one way college and grad school prepared me for motherhood....


1. It taught me how to effectively function on little to no sleep!!

Turns out I DID get something out of all those all-nighters :)

Who knew breast milk was so versatile?

I found this list of uses for breast milk (or as my son's pediatrician likes to call it..."Liquid Gold"). I thought it was interesting! I knew milk could clear up baby acne and rashes, but I was surprised by some of the uses...such as removing warts, clearing a stuffy nose, and removing makeup!

Alternative uses for breast milk

Knowing when our kids are ready...

My son and I have been struggling with sleep lately. He was a great sleeper until about 4 months old. He is now 8 months old and we have struggled with co-sleeping (he sleeps better, I sleep worse...currently his crib is pushed up against my side of the bed), nap schedules, and just staying asleep at night (he averages 3 hour stretches as of this writing...but has been known to sleep anywhere from 1-7 hours at a time).

Advice has been thrown at me from every direction. Let him cry it out. He needs to be in his own room. Just let him sleep with you. Don't let him nurse. Schedule his naps and feedings. And lots of other words of "wisdom."

This has all been very frustrating to me. The other day I read something that was perfect for me. I have included the link to the article. It written by a mom on the blog for Attachment Parenting International. She is talking about her 3 year old being developmentally ready for certain milestones and the need for her, as a parent, to be patient and let him grow at his own pace.  It reminded me that I, too, need to be patient and let my son reach the milestone of sleeping through the night when he is ready. That I need to be empathetic, understanding and loving.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Excited for what is in store...

Before I became a mom, I thought I knew everything there was to know about "mommying." After all, (insert pompous tone of voice here) I DID go to school for psychology for 7 years, wrote a dissertation on attachment, and have been working as a child psychologist intern for over 3 years...

HA!!!

Then, 8 months ago, I became a mom...and realized that 7 years of studying brain development, mental health, and behavior in kids does not teach you how to be a parent! SHOCKER!!

So here I am, navigating the rollercoaster ride that we call the parenting world, trying to find the perfect balance between my instincts, my knowledge of psychology, the advice from my son's pediatrician, the advice from my parents and friends, what the books say I should do, and a myriad of other information being thrown at me.

I am a total newbee!

But I do have access to some excellent writings and information from some brilliant people. My plan for this blog is to share my experiences, my struggles, my triumphs and, most importantly, the resources I stumble upon. It is also to share other moms' stories and experiences.

Enjoy!